I just saw the spider from Hell.

I cannot describe how awful it was at this moment . . .

. . . pictures to come . . .

The birds . . . they peck at my window.

It's a female cardinal. I think it wants a fresh corpse to lay its eggs in.

You don't want to see this . . .

But I'm gonna show it to you anyway.

Goodbye, Mr. Spider

I crushed the life out of him, and smeared it across the wall.
He shall never bother me again.

Ode to Spider

This is not the place
To show your face
You are not wanted
You are only hunted

For what I feared
Now is smeared
Across the wall
You used to crawl

Your little friends
Shall only find their ends
By me
Who does not hear their plea

You shall die
I do not hear your cry

Go away
For if you stay
You shall die

Wordless Wednesday

Pack of Squirrels Kills Dog

Russian squirrel pack kills dog

This story shows the true ferocity of squirrels. They "literally gutted the dog" and ran off with chunks of flesh all in around a minute just because the dog barked at them and they may have been short on pine cones. If this does not give you chills and make you fear squirrels, I pity you. Squirrels always go for the weak and unsuspecting. All we can do is hope that it is just the Russian squirrels that are like this.

The article was originally published in December 2005. I wonder if there have been any more recent squirrel attacks. Perhaps if there were, all witnesses were killed by the squirrels. Squirrels value their secrecy greatly.

Wonder Toast

This is how the Wonder Boy does toast.

It makes his breath as wonderful as he is.

Sausage and Sauerkraut

Lori, I don't know where you ran off to, but I think that if you were to go to where your husband or the Wonder Boy lurks, you would regret feeding them sausage and sauerkraut for dinner. Barely two hours have passed since dinner, and already the smell is unbearable outside of my room. I have locked myself in here, and will not come out unless there is a fire.

Are there any leftover sausages? I am thankful that all the sauerkraut was eaten up. Hopefully, it will all be over in one short, but very stinky burst. Unless your husband, the Snack Man, decides that he hungers for more sausage before going to bed. Then, at least that will be you problem to deal with, and not mine . . .